I Can’t Quit Porn, How Do I Quit for Good?

Are you struggling to give up a problematic pornography habit? You can at least take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. If you are trying to give up viewing pornography or just changing your relationship with porn, this article is for you!

Is Pornography Addictive?

If you are having a hard time regulating yourself when it comes to watching porn, you may be wondering if there’s something wrong with you. The good news is that you are not broken. It isn't a moral failing; pornography is designed to be addictive — to leave you always wanting more.

When it comes down to science, some believe pornography addiction is a legitimate diagnosis, and some don’t. In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), pornography addiction is not listed as an official diagnosis.

So, has the American Psychiatric Association (APA) completely rejected sex and porn addiction? Not exactly. The APA does indeed recognize ‘excessive sexual drive’ and ‘compulsive sexual behavior disorder.’

It’s also important to note that the APA doesn’t have the last word on what is and isn’t addictive, and the DSM-5 is just for professionals’ diagnostic criteria.

In fact, an entire group of therapists specializes in treating sex and porn addiction. These therapists are called Certified Sex Addiction Therapists, or CSATs. These skilled professionals know the ins and outs of sexual-related addictions better than anyone, and they can attest that behavioral addictions have an impact.

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How Do I Know If I’m Addicted to Porn?

If you feel like you might be in dangerous territory when it comes to your porn habit, or if you’re not sure if you would really consider yourself addicted, here are some signs that you might have a problem:

• You have tried to stop watching porn, but you can’t
• You have lost a lot of time watching porn
• You feel guilt or shame after watching porn, but you still don’t stop
• You have started to spend exorbitant amounts of money on porn
• You feel like you have to hide your porn habit from others
• You need more and more porn to feel satisfied
• You lose sexual attraction for your partner
• You have a hard time reaching orgasm or feeling sexual pleasure
• You are reading this and trying to learn how to stop

How Can I Stop Watching Porn?

If you feel you’re in a hopeless cycle of trying to quit and failing, we have some tips that might help you take your recovery to the next level. Though it might feel impossible, it’s not. You can do this!

Talk to Someone You Can Trust

As difficult as it may be, talking to someone about your addiction is a great first step to overcoming it. Find someone to confide in, and let them know what’s happening. You might think that it won’t be helpful or that you may be shunned, but you might be surprised to learn how much support you get.

Seek Out a Support Group

It’s important to realize that you are not alone in your recovery. Though porn is still stigmatized, many people know exactly what you’re going through. Feeling too nervous to talk to strangers face to face?

No problem! There are even online and app opportunities to connect with others. Online groups can cut out the embarrassment and awkwardness of sitting in a community center full of strangers. Think of it like social media, but without the ick.

Embrace Technology

In addition to online support groups, you will find that all kinds of apps and sobriety trackers will help encourage you to keep going. If you are a person who engages with social media, consider joining an online group or message board that has to do with porn addiction.

If you’ve never heard of it, the “no fap” movement advocates for changing the narrative around porn and sex.

Create Obstacles to Watching Porn

Give yourself a little accountability. Make yourself have to think hard and make an effort to watch pornography. If you normally sleep with your laptop in your room and your cell phone on your bedside table, reconsider. Get a good old-fashioned alarm clock and pack your laptop up in a tote or backpack.

You could even download software that will block porn websites altogether. Often these programs require passwords to reset your device, so have a trusted friend set up the password so that there’s no way for you to watch at all.

Get a Hobby

One massive mistake people make when trying to quit addiction of any kind is to get rid of the addictive substance or behavior without replacing it. If you are trying to quit cold turkey (which you probably should with a behavioral addiction like porn), you need something to fill in the gap.

Since pornography viewing has a physical component to addiction, the best hobbies will be those that are physical in nature. Join a local bowling or softball league. Take up knitting so that you can keep your hands busy. Start a walking challenge with some friends and go for afternoon walks or hikes.

Whatever you do, get out of the house and away from the computer!

Do a Screen Fast

Depending on your job situation, this may be easier for some than others. If it’s possible for you, try taking a complete break from all screens. We recommend 24 hours as a good rule of thumb. You will probably be amazed at how much free time you actually have in your day.

As a society, we all spend far too much time looking at screens, between watching TV, scrolling social media, and working at computers. Enjoy life outside the box and do something productive.

It’s easy to forget how many things there are to do in this world, but try to break away from the screen!

Find a Therapist

Therapy is a literal lifesaver. Truthfully, everyone should probably be in therapy, but this is especially true for those dealing with addiction. Too many people try to white-knuckle their way through addiction on their own, but the truth is we all need help.

How to find a quality CSAT or AASECT-certified therapist? The simple answer is to ask your doctor. Again, we know it’s awkward to have these types of conversations, but just remember that doctors have heard it all, and their job is not to judge but to help you be the healthiest person you can be.

Quit the Negative Self-Talk

One thing that many addicts have in common is low self-esteem and negative self-talk. Always remember to be kind to yourself and remember your worth. If you are not deeming yourself worthy of love and care, it will be harder to see the benefits of living a life in recovery.

Daily mantras allow one to be more positive and kind to yourself. Think about what you need and what you would like to hear from others, then frame it as an “I” statement you say every morning. For example, you may have a mantra like “I am exactly where I need to be” or “I am worthy of love.”

Remember Your Why

If you are at the point of trying to change habits and quit pornography altogether, chances are that there are aspects of your life that have suffered due to your addiction. Maybe it’s your kids, romantic relationship, career, or something else.

Keep it in the back of your mind at all times, and when you get to the difficult moments, it might just be enough to push you through.

Celebrate Your Victories

When you’re in recovery, celebrating victories should be a big part of your life, and you should celebrate all victories, big and small. Anyone with experience in recovery will tell you that on some days, you must celebrate every hour of sobriety.

Once you’ve been porn-free for an hour, celebrate yourself! 24 hours? Throw yourself a freaking party — even if it’s only a one-person party.

In Conclusion

There are so many reasons why your life will be better without porn addiction being a part of it. It doesn’t mean you can’t get help if you have had a hard time quitting.

Sobriety of any kind isn’t easy, and there’s no foolproof path to recovery. The best thing you can do is to just keep walking the path and doing things that will keep you headed in the right direction.

Sources:

Porn Addiction Recovery: Treatment Plans and Relapse Prevention | Psych Central

How to Identify and Treat a Pornography Addiction | Healthline

Pornography Addiction: Why Pornography Is Addictive? | WebMD