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If you are on a wellness journey that includes ditching your pornography viewing habits, you should be proud of yourself! That said, this is a tough habit to break, and you will need all the help you can get to heal from your addiction, both physically and emotionally.
That’s where we come in. We will go over the causes of porn addiction, discuss where to draw the line when it comes to watching porn, and share some of the best ways to heal from porn addiction.
What Causes Porn Addiction?
Pornography addiction is a slippery slope. What starts as a seemingly harmless activity to relieve stress can quickly turn into a compulsion that you can’t seem to control.
Porn addiction is a behavioral addiction, similar to being addicted to sex or gambling. Like other addictions, it doesn’t have one specific cause; numerous underlying factors can contribute to porn addiction.
Though some question whether or not porn addiction is a legitimate diagnosis (technically, it’s not), the fact is that it is an emotional dependency that can absolutely interfere with your relationships and wreak havoc on your life.
Many people turn to porn as a coping method to deal with stress, anxiety, or depression. Obviously, it is also sexually satisfying, which triggers the brain’s reward system. Think Pavlov’s dog.
Porn also provides a strange consistency for some people. At times, that is the comfort we find in our compulsive behaviors. Those behaviors are often the only things in our lives that we feel we can control until, of course, we can no longer control them.
How Much Is Too Much?
If you are questioning whether or not you are watching too much porn, then we both know the answer. If the question is whether or not pornography viewing has become problematic in your life, consider some of the following questions:
- Have you started to shirk responsibilities to watch porn?
- Has your job or career suffered because of porn?
- Are you finding it more and more difficult to achieve orgasm or to be otherwise sexually satisfied?
- Has your relationship suffered?
- Has your sex life suffered?
- Have you started spending too much money on porn?
- Have you “lost” large chunks of time watching pornography?
If you answer yes to some of those questions, you should probably make some changes, if for no other reason than to find true happiness and get away from the screen.
How Can I Heal From Porn Addiction?
The term “heal” is a literal one in this case. Months or years of watching too much pornography have changed how your brain pathways are wired. It will take a while to heal from your addiction.
As you recover, you may feel like you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Withdrawal occurs when you stop taking a substance or executing a behavior you have previously been doing. Withdrawal symptoms can be physical or emotional, but rest assured your feelings are valid.
Here are some things you can do to help you heal from a porn addiction:
1. Replace the Addiction
It is not common for people to be successful with cold turkey quitting. Even when people manage to do it, they often relapse or are somewhat miserable. Instead, replace your addiction with something positive, like exercise or walking.
Since pornography addiction is, in many ways, a physical addiction, your best bet is to replace porn watching with physical activity; anything is better than nothing.
2. Journal
Many people have found solace in journaling about their recovery process. It might feel a little cheesy, but getting your thoughts and feelings down on paper can be cathartic. Start slow, and don’t feel any pressure to write in a certain way, to be grammatical, or to write for an extended period.
3. Ask for Help
Talk to someone who you care about. It’s not easy to do, especially with the stigma surrounding addiction, but you may be surprised by the support you find. If nothing else, it will be good to get it off of your chest.
If you don’t feel comfortable talking to a friend or loved one, consider finding a support group. You can get support groups local to you, or you can find a community online to avoid the awkwardness of sitting in a room full of strangers. It helps to know you’re not alone.
4. Take It a Day at a Time
Don’t worry about tomorrow, next week, or the next day. Just focus on taking your recovery one day at a time. This takes some of the pressure off; you only need to worry about the next 24 hours.
5. Get Outside
You have probably been spending a lot of time indoors if your porn habit has worsened. Being outdoors can be one of the best things for you. A little vitamin D from the sun and energy from the fresh air will do you good.
A bonus is that if you are outside reaping all the benefits of the great outdoors, you are probably not scrolling porn on your phone or laptop!
6. Consider Doing a Screen Fast
Sure, your beef might be with pornography, but it won’t hurt to take a little time off the screen. And we mean ALL screens! This may seem extreme, but it will force you to find other means of entertainment.
Give it a try: for 24 hours, abandon all screen time except for those necessary for work. Go for it!
7. Strengthen Your Relationship
If you are in a romantic relationship and have been living with porn addiction, odds are your relationship has suffered. Now is the time to work on repairing it. Remember that your significant other may not understand what you are going through and may not always be supportive of your recovery.
They likely feel a sense of betrayal, and it will take some time to repair this part of your life. If you are not dating anyone, now is not the time to start a new relationship. Work on healing yourself first, and once you are well into your recovery, you can start dating again.
8. Address Other Issues
You may have heard before that although addiction is a disease, it can also be a symptom of other issues. Most people do not pick up a destructive behavior or a substance if they are otherwise doing well.
Some people who suffer from depression or anxiety use pornography as a self-soothing method. If you are struggling, get some help.
Conclusion
Despite what you may feel, you can and will recover from this. Give yourself some grace, and know it’s not easy to overcome a compulsion like the one you’re dealing with.
Now is a great time to pick up a new hobby or two, start exercising, get oudoors, and talk to someone who can help you through this. You may feel ashamed, but remember that you are not alone and you can do this.
Sources:
Is pornography addictive? | American Psychological Association
Neuroscience of Internet Pornography Addiction: A Review and Update | PMC
Online Porn Addiction: What We Know and What We Don’t—A Systematic Review | PMC