Signs of Porn Addiction (5 Min Read)

Whether you’re searching this because you’re concerned about yourself, or about someone you love, take a deep breath. While pornography is obviously something that is powerfully negative, that doesn’t make it invincible.

No matter how long you’ve struggled with pornography, there is a way out! You can overcome this. Keep this in mind as we go through some information about porn addiction, why it's such a nuanced issue, and some of the signs of porn addiction.

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The Controversy of Pornography Addiction

The truth of the matter is, pornography addiction isn’t listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (also called the DSM-5, it’s a handbook that’s considered the standard for American mental health care). Because of this, there is debate about whether or not it can be classified as a real addiction.

However, in an interview where they were asked if compulsive sexual behavior (like watching porn or masturbating, even if you don’t want to) was similar to other “official” addictions, the Cleveland Clinic said:

“Yes. The “addiction feeling” is what makes it similar. The craving for sex is similar to cravings felt for alcohol or drugs by those who have addictions to these substances. It’s an overwhelming compulsion or temptation that’s so strong you feel that you have to have it. It’s an out-of-control feeling, never feeling satisfied feeling or a constant battle to take control of something that’s on autopilot. You return to the behavior — over and over again — despite the negative consequences.”

Since the mental health community has yet to officially sanction compulsive pornography use as a charted and diagnosable addiction, this isn’t something you could be diagnosed with at the doctor’s office. It’s a little more nuanced than that. But if you feel like you've been seeing the signs of porn addiction in your own life, or the life of someone you care about, it's important to pay attention.

Why Does It Matter?

You may wonder why we even bring up the controversy around the idea of a porn addiction. It’s simple: here at Relay, we want you to be able to get the best help you can, and to make a permanent recovery from sexual compulsions. All people are capable of living a positive and joyful life, free from the guilt, stress, and shame that unwanted pornography and masturbation bring.

It’s important to address the nuanced nature of the signs of porn addiction, because the labels we choose for ourselves are very powerful. Some people can benefit from accepting that they may have developed an addiction to pornography—this can help them to understand their own behavior, and know which steps to take to change it.

But for others, it can be incredibly stress-inducing to see themselves as addicts (especially if they don’t meet the qualifications, or don’t have as big of a problem in reality as they may think they do). Identifying as an addict can be intimidating, and higher-anxiety individuals are often benefitted most by viewing pornography simply as a bad habit to be kicked.

Do I Have a Porn Addiction?

As we go through some of the signs of porn addiction, remember that these aren’t official diagnostic criteria—they’re just a list of red flags to watch out for. However, if you find yourself identifying with most of the items on the list, it can indicate that your porn use has gotten a little out of your control. It would be best to seek help from a therapist or an online support group soon.

Signs of Porn Addiction

• Experiencing obsessive thoughts about pornography

Whether this takes the form of sexual fantasy or intense urges to view pornography, porn feels like it is always on your mind.

• Unable to control your pornography use

You’ve tried to quit before, and it hasn’t worked. Once you feel an urge to view pornography, it’s like tunnel vision until you can get your fix. It feels like the behavior is controlling you, and not the other way around.

• Stressed or irritable if cut off from pornography (withdrawal)

This is one of the bigger signs of porn addiction. I you find yourself in a grumpy mood when you don't have access to porn, it can tell you that you've developed an emotional dependence on porn to calm you down and chill you out.

• Spending excessive amounts of time viewing pornography

Maybe you’re staying up way later than usual, or being late to work or school because you got caught in a porn spiral that lasted way longer than you planned.

• Neglecting responsibilities and obligations due to pornography use

Have you neglected your homework or messy room, skipped a meeting or been late to work to watch porn instead?

• Ignoring risks

This is where it starts to get a little more serious. If you’re watching porn in places where it’s inappropriate or unsafe to do so, simply because you just can’t hold out until you get home, this is a big red flag, and one of the more concerning signs of porn addiction. At work, in the school bathroom, at the library—this is a sign that it’s time to change your lifestyle.

• Continuing to view pornography despite negative consequences

These can be potential or realized consequences. Pornography can be expensive. Watching it in public could cost you your job. Are you doing these things anyways?

• Developing a tolerance to pornography, requiring more extreme or graphic material to achieve the same level of arousal

• Struggling in relationships due to pornography use

Porn can cause trust issues with trust, and lead to difficulty building and maintaining healthy, safe relationships.

• Experiencing a lessened interest in having real sex, or even trouble climaxing when you do engage in partnered sex

How To Overcome Porn Addiction

Issues with pornography are incredibly common, as it has been engineered to be as habit-forming and addictive as possible. Everything from the design of the websites to the way the videos are filmed has been created to get you hooked. While this is intimidating, and can feel incredibly discouraging, it also means that there are many people who understand exactly what you’re going through.

Find some actionable steps to quit a porn addiction here.

You are not alone! It’s time to assemble your support team for your recovery from pornography. This is an incredibly isolating issue, and so it’s important to have people in your corner who understand what you’re feeling and going through.

A place where you can find others who are working on overcoming porn addiction too is an online support group. Here at Relay, we’ve created the kind of recovery support group that we wish we could have had when working through these issues ourselves!

On our recovery app, you’ll be matched with other people in your same situation. You’ll set your own recovery goals, but you’ll be able to work with these new friends to stay accountable and to get advice when you’re struggling. You can connect with them in a support-group style chat. We’ve seen great success from our users so far, and hope that you’ll give it a try.

Therapists are also a great place to start your journey towards a life free from porn addiction. As you look for the right therapist, it may be helpful to find someone who shares your beliefs about the negativity or pornography. Finding a CSAT (a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) can make this much easier.

Follow this link to find a therapist near you!

Conclusion

The road to a life free from pornography—especially something as serious as a pornography addiction—won’t be smooth or easy. It’s difficult to change the way your brain works, but with the proper help, you’ll be able to do it.

Reach out to the people who love and care about you, and let them be involved in your healing process. They don’t have to know specifics—just make sure that you’re spending time with them! This will help you to remember that you are more than just somebody who struggles with pornography.