How To Sexually Reset Your Brain From a Porn Addiction

Porn addiction is a very real issue. It impacts people differently, but anyone dependent on pornography will agree that it can be devastating and damaging. For many, it leads to depression and anxiety. 

Porn addiction can creep up on you, and it can be difficult to determine whether or not you’re addicted. If you feel like porn is negatively affecting your life, it’s time to take action.

In this article, we will discuss how porn addiction can affect your brain chemistry and how you can reset your brain by training it for much healthier sexual behaviors. The human brain is a complex machine that can be rewired through various means, intentionally and unintentionally, so no matter how long you may have been struggling with pornography, it doesn't have to be forever.

We will discuss intentional changes you can make to positively impact your brain. If you’re reading this, you want to make a change, and we will talk about ways to make meaningful changes that will stick. If you're looking for a full sexual brain reset program to help you in this journey, take the survey in our app to get a personalized plan and peer support group.

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What Is Porn Addiction?

Research indicates that excessive pornography use may lead to sexually compulsive and dependent behaviors and may result in the development of other sexual addictions. Viewing pornography can result in a sort of addictive cycle. 

This cycle begins with a craving phase, which is only satisfied once you get to watch porn. Then, sadly, guilt and shame can follow. Then the cycle repeats all over again.

Experiencing uncontrollable urges to watch porn may be just as problematic for some people as other behavioral addictions. Even though it’s not the same, many believe some of the effects may be similar to those of substance addictions.

Studies comparing the brains of people who compulsively watch porn with those addicted to drugs or alcohol have had mixed results. However, a 2013 study from researchers at the University of Leicester, UK, suggests that a propensity towards pornography might be even more of a compulsive behavior than addictive substances.

In that study, which examined porn’s addictive nature, subjects who consumed a large amount of pornography showed an increased reaction in their brains when presented with pornographic material. The changes in certain areas of their brains were similar to that observed in those addicted to alcohol or drugs.

Another 2015 study found that believing you are addicted to pornography, rather than simply using it, was a more significant reason for associated distress and anxiety. In other words, though the addiction itself may cause problems, the negative emotions you feel believing you have a shameful addiction can be even more harmful. 

Those who develop addictions tend to spend more time using pornography, often moving on to more extreme materials over time. 

There are some major misconceptions regarding pornography addiction. Many believe it can only be a problem for those with “addictive personalities.” Others think that only those with a high sex drive could develop this addiction. 

The real question is: How can you know that you are addicted to porn or simply engaging in a harmless habit? There are some warning signs. 

You might be addicted to porn if any of the following are true for you:

• You have started spending a lot of time watching pornography

• You spend money on internet porn

• Your friends or family have started to notice your habit as problematic

• You feel guilt or shame about watching porn, but still don’t change

• You have actively tried to stop, but you can’t

• You have started watching more intense forms of pornography over time

• You watch porn in inappropriate places, like at work

• You have canceled plans with others to watch porn

• You have experienced negative consequences because of your porn-watching habits

• You have called out of work or shirked other responsibilities to watch porn

How Does Pornography Affect Your Brain?

Thanks to the availability of the internet, access to pornography is easier than ever. Explicit videos and photos are mere clicks away and often right in the palms of our hands. 

It’s no surprise that studies show most of us have viewed internet porn at least once. Some of us, however, can’t seem to get enough. What is different about those who struggle with viewing porn? How does porn affect their brains? 

Regardless of your sexual orientation or identity, the chronic overuse of internet pornography causes major changes in the brain. Many studies suggest that there are measurable differences in the brains of those who view a lot of pornography, indicating a potentially damaging effect over time. 

Connections Between Mental Illness and Pornography

There is some research that suggests a connection between depression, anxiety, and problematic pornography habits. It could just be that people with depression are more prone to viewing porn rather than porn causing these changes. After all, correlation does not necessarily equal causation.

Many people start watching porn because they are trying to quell anxiety or to relax. This is ironic because, after a while, guilt may begin to cause more anxiety for some. 

When it comes to behavioral addictions, it’s important to remember that psychological components are hugely important and cannot be overlooked. People who watch a lot of porn can be depressed and anxious overall. The same can be said for many other addictions as well. Addiction is a psychological disease, and it’s one that we are still working to understand completely.

Your Brain on Pornography

With repeated exposure to porn, the part of the brain involved in decision-making and willpower starts shrinking. Part of this is simply the natural cycle of addiction we mentioned earlier. In caveman speak: “Want porn. Think about porn. Get porn. Feel happy. Feel Guilty. Want porn again.” 

Pornography affects the brain like a gateway drug, stimulating an increasing dopamine quantity. Because erotic images tend to produce more dopamine than even sexual activity with a familiar partner, exposure to pornography leads to an addiction to sexual stimulation. 

It trains the brain to favor these erotic images over sexual partners, making both the brain and the human being far less satisfied with real-life sex. This is also why people who watch pornography regularly are more likely to cheat on their partners; they are always looking for the next dopamine hit, the better video, the more explicit image, and the sexier intimate partner.

In this way, the chemical pathways in the brain designed for sexual pleasure are rewired to search for porn or unfamiliar partners instead of sex with their wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc. 

Sex addiction advocates have long claimed that sex and porn are like cocaine for the brain. These fear-based arguments frequently throw around terms such as “dopamine spikes” and “desensitization” to describe what is purportedly happening to the brains of those who watch too much porn.

But it makes sense, doesn’t it? Just like any other addiction, you are left wanting more. We become desensitized to images of regular sex, and we need something new, special, and strange just to feel satisfied. 

Even scarier is that those who watch excessive porn seem to have less gray matter in their brains than those who do not. Again, this could certainly be a case of correlation vs. causation. It could simply be that those who have less gray matter are more likely to watch excessive amounts of pornography, but the connection cannot be denied. 

What Are the Negative Side Effects of Watching Pornography?

While pornography in itself is not always damaging, consuming it in excess could lead to numerous physical and psychological side effects. The effects of a porn addiction may be similar to those of any other addiction. 

The Effect on Teens

Teens who develop a porn addiction are also at an increased risk of developing substance abuse disorders. One study found frequent use of pornography among 18-year-old boys was associated with the occurrence of other problem behaviors, such as drinking alcohol more frequently and engaging in risky sexual behaviors.

Many studies have shown that even “softcore” pornography, involving acts between consenting adults, can desensitize teens at a young age. 

When teens view more extreme forms of pornography, this can also set them up for unrealistic expectations for their sex lives in the future. The teenage years are formative, and young people have not fully formed the part of their brain that helps with decision-making. Overexposure to extreme, explicit images can truly create lifelong problems.

Decreased Satisfaction in Relationships

As mentioned earlier, a major side effect is decreased satisfaction with “normal” or “vanilla” sex between familiar partners. Not only is satisfaction decreased, but so is the frequency of sexual relations within the relationships of those who watch porn.

Sadly, most men, and many women, are regular viewers of porn. Partially because of its accessibility and decreasing stigma, some men might have been led to believe that pornography is not harmful or that the risks are nothing compared to other, more illegal sources of pleasure, such as hard drugs or gambling. 

People tend to forget that losing a relationship can be one of addiction's worst possible side effects. Though it is not exclusive to pornography addiction, the sexual nature of this addiction makes it more complicated in terms of its effects on a relationship. 

Desensitization

The desensitizing nature of porn cannot be overstated. Regular binge-watching of hardcore internet pornography may lead some users to need more and more, in increasing levels of extremes. 

People who become entrenched in the world of internet pornography can forget what real sex is like, and build up an impossible ideal in their minds. Assuming that those watching porn are also usually masturbating, this can also lead to literal desensitization of the sex organs. 

Physical Effects

In addition to desensitization, those who are watching porn and masturbating regularly run the risk of other injuries. Believe it or not, edema, or swelling, can occur. This is especially true for males. 

Staring at a screen for hours on end is something we just know isn’t good for us. It can cause headaches and eye strain and potentially damage vision in the long run. 

For men, there are many out there who suffer from porn-induced erectile dysfunction (ED). This is what leads many men to want to stop watching porn in the first place. In a seeming paradox, the exact thing that used to get you aroused can become an obstacle to your arousal after repeated exposure. 

How Can You Reset Your Brain From a Porn Addiction? 

Let’s get right down to it. How can you reset your brain after years of watching porn? You may think that, at this point, there’s no going back. You may even wonder if you could ever stop watching porn completely. 

We know that porn rewires the pathways in the brain and causes us to see sex differently, but is there hope for true change? We think so, and we have some tips that can help you fix your brain after porn has damaged it. Think of your porn-obsessed brain like any other body part — it can eventually heal. 

1. Abstain From P.M.O.: Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm

If this sounds a little harsh, consider the alternative. And we know that it is not that simple. Quitting completely will take time. However, when it comes to porn addiction, it is almost impossible to simply “cut down.” 

We recommend that you try to quit cold turkey. Just think about all the times that you have gone online thinking that you would watch pornography for just a half hour or so, and all of a sudden, you’ve lost four hours of your life. Yeah, cutting down doesn’t work for most people. 

2. Give Your Brain a Rest

If you broke your leg, you wouldn’t try to walk on it, would you? You probably wouldn’t even try to stand on it. One thing that will help you to reboot your brain is to take a complete break from all sexually explicit material, not just porn.

In the same way that an alcoholic could be triggered by walking into a bar, you would not be using your best judgment if you were browsing dating apps, Craigslist, and reading erotica. 

3. Get Back to Real Sex. Maybe.

For some, a temporary break from masturbation and orgasm can be helpful. But on the other hand, sexual contact with a real person can be beneficial in reminding you what actual sex is. The caveat: it’s only helpful if you’re not thinking about porn during the act.

Many people tend to reduce the frequency of orgasms at the beginning of their recovery. Some engage in what has colloquially been termed “gentle intercourse,” in which they have sex but do not orgasm or even get close. 

4. Try Not To Reactivate Your Porn Cravings

Learn to figure out your triggers. You don’t have to be perfect! While masturbation may not be inherently unhealthy for you, if the act makes you crave porn, maybe you need to take a break from that too. 

Remember that your focus is on giving up porn and retraining your brain so you can have a normal sex life. It’s okay to do sexual things; just remember how they affect your urges to watch porn.

5. Find a Therapist

_Does it suck to talk to someone about something as polarizing and embarrassing as porn and masturbation? Absolutely. However, there is an entire subset of therapists who truly understand how addictive porn can be.

These therapists are called Certified Sex Addiction Therapists, or CSATs. Though the medical community disagrees about categorizing and diagnosing sexual behavior addictions, most therapists will acknowledge that when it comes to sex, porn, and masturbation, there is definitely an addictive component. 

A good therapist can help you use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to identify your triggers and work to avoid them or at least cope with them when they arise. 

6. Locate a Support Group 

A support group is a wonderful resource for anyone who needs help with addiction. They are just what they sound like: a way to find support from others. The beauty of a support group is that there is no judgment. Everyone is going through some iteration of the same thing. 

The same internet that got you into trouble could help you find online support groups. Or, talk to your therapist or doctor about how to find a local group. If you don’t like it immediately, try sticking it out for a couple of meetings, or you can find another one. Sometimes you need the right group for it to work. 

7. Do a Screen Fast

Depending on your career, you may be able to take a break from screens altogether. Doing so could be a huge help to rewiring your brain. Remember that your recovery is not just about porn. It’s also about reversing addiction-related brain changes and sexual conditioning.

This might mean taking a break even from the objects that you associate with porn, such as your cell phone and your laptop. You want to eliminate any “cheating,” like using chat rooms or engaging in “cam-to-cam” interactions. A screen fast can help with that. 

8. Find an Active Hobby

Remind that brain of yours how it feels to produce dopamine through other means. You don’t need to avoid all pleasurable, dopamine-inducing activities! In fact, the opposite is true. Replace your addiction with as much enjoyment as possible; just make it the non-porn kind.

Get exercise, socialize with friends, meditate, or learn a new skill. These things can make you happier, and recognize that you can survive without porn. 

9. Don’t Fantasize

It might sound a little strange, but believe it or not, fantasizing about porn is almost the same as watching it, as far as the brain is concerned. The brain doesn’t differentiate between types of porn or types of fantasy; it only knows what’s happening in terms of brain chemicals. 

By fantasizing, you activate the Pavlovian response you have honed over time. The same can be said for looking at social media sites and swiping through pic after pic of good-looking men or women. It’s a slippery slope!

10. Remember: Progress, Not Perfection

The importance of mindset shines through here. You cannot allow yourself to feel defeated by every little setback. Perhaps you break down and watch a little porn one night. While this is a setback, it doesn’t mean that you have relapsed and are now doomed to a life of porn addiction.

You may even notice that if you go back and watch a little, it doesn’t feel as satisfying as it once did. That’s a victory. Celebrate the little things, even if it feels silly. You have been doing this porn stuff for years; it will not deal in days or weeks. 

Conclusion

Rewiring your brain and resetting yourself sexually is absolutely possible; it just takes some time, discipline, and technique. Many people who try to stop watching porn simply cut it out cold turkey and hope for the best. 

In reality, you are going to need a plan. You should replace your habit with another productive, active hobby in which you can feel success and fulfillment. Remember what real sex is supposed to be, and take a break from the fake stuff online. You can recover. 

Sources:

Watching pornography rewires the brain to a more juvenile state | Neuroscience News

Is pornography addictive? | APA

Rebooting Basics | Your Brain On Porn

How to Identify and Treat a Pornography Addiction | Healthline